Ever feel under attack? Everything falls apart at once....all of a sudden a depression hits you out of nowhere....attack from all sides OR attack from nothing....just an emptiness that all of a sudden hits you.
I have been under attack today. I have been sad, in my head, heart hurting all day..raw and ripped wide open. It's not just one thing....today, the last couple of days, was a snowball of MANY things.
I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm fully aware of what is happening but it doesn't take away that it's happening. So what do you do? How do you deal?
I have had a running dialogue (as with most days) with the Lord. I've argued, I've said some hateful things, I've said some things I wish I could take back, I've cried, I've reasoned, I've accepted and I've laughed.
Right now...I can say I've a little a clarity with .... most of it ... and ready to start my day tomorrow fresh. I cannot control anything but how I react and how I respond and nothing else is in my control.
My family is a mess. It's not just 1 person...it's all of us and everyone. In evaluating my life and dealing with things that have come up...one thing was true...one thing was constant....family. We don't have that anymore. We're hanging on by a thread and 1/2 of us are barely speaking.
Things coming up....in working on my testimony...lots of stuff has come up and I'm having to deal, I'm having to cope and I'm having to grow. It's not anything I can't move past and heal from...but that doesn't take away the emotions that have come up from it. I thought I had a final testimony and then a whole new door was opened. Yikes. Who knew a testimony was so hard!?
If you're offering up some prayers for a random person....I'd love some.... I'm really am doing good. I know I just laid all this out and it's kinda poor pitiful me but it's just where I am. I'm pretty open and deal with my struggles and transitions the same way...so that's where I am. Lots and lots of growth. I'd just love some prayers wrapped around me just because I could always use them ;)
I have been under attack today. I have been sad, in my head, heart hurting all day..raw and ripped wide open. It's not just one thing....today, the last couple of days, was a snowball of MANY things.
I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm fully aware of what is happening but it doesn't take away that it's happening. So what do you do? How do you deal?
I have had a running dialogue (as with most days) with the Lord. I've argued, I've said some hateful things, I've said some things I wish I could take back, I've cried, I've reasoned, I've accepted and I've laughed.
Right now...I can say I've a little a clarity with .... most of it ... and ready to start my day tomorrow fresh. I cannot control anything but how I react and how I respond and nothing else is in my control.
My family is a mess. It's not just 1 person...it's all of us and everyone. In evaluating my life and dealing with things that have come up...one thing was true...one thing was constant....family. We don't have that anymore. We're hanging on by a thread and 1/2 of us are barely speaking.
Things coming up....in working on my testimony...lots of stuff has come up and I'm having to deal, I'm having to cope and I'm having to grow. It's not anything I can't move past and heal from...but that doesn't take away the emotions that have come up from it. I thought I had a final testimony and then a whole new door was opened. Yikes. Who knew a testimony was so hard!?
If you're offering up some prayers for a random person....I'd love some.... I'm really am doing good. I know I just laid all this out and it's kinda poor pitiful me but it's just where I am. I'm pretty open and deal with my struggles and transitions the same way...so that's where I am. Lots and lots of growth. I'd just love some prayers wrapped around me just because I could always use them ;)
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6
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