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Wal-Mart

So I know everyone has seen the website, People of Wal-Mart, but have you ever observed your OWN Wal-Mart.

I got to go today by myself (which is SUCH a treat) while Michael had Daddy time. You're not as distracted, you're not rushing through before the tantrums start and you're able to take your time (usually more than is really needed because...it's a break) and observe a little more. I made the following observations today....

- First of all....don't go on a Sunday...HA! I usually go during the week in the mornings and it's nice and calm...today was CA-RAZY hectic!

The following people are at said Wal-Mart on Sundays:

"The Eaters" I myself have never understood this. Can you not wait to get home to open up the Pepperidge Farm cookies? I think these people are the reason the saying goes, "never go to the grocery store hungry"

"The Wrong Wayers" Whether they're foreign or just rude...they seem to find you on EVERY row and they seem to ALWAYS be going down the wrong way.

"The Owners" These are the people that think they OWN the aisle. It's theirs and everyone else needs to step aside and wait. The Owners can also be found in front of a product and even though they see you...they are not moving for you AND taking their sweet time in finding their need.

"The Newbies" whether they're newlyweds or new parents...you can spot them a mile away. They're usually standing with their heads together, recipes in hand trying to figure out each ingredient or comparing prices. They always barely have anything in their cart and almost always have a pensive/anxious look on their faces.

"The Coupon Lady" She's ALWAYS standing there looking through her book and doesn't seem to notice she's in the middle of the aisle or in front of something...thus causing you to wait.

"The Weird Bachelor" You know this one right? Kinda creepy, has 4 or 5 things in his carry cart and seems to wander slowly up and down the aisles (because what else does he have to do). These can come in a variety of different looks...cute to crazy....but you still find yourself saying...single and staying that way!

"The Single Female" This one is also in a variety of looks. It can be the one who DRESSED for her Wal-Mart shopping spree....even did her hair and make up JUST for this trip because Mr. Right could be on the bread aisle. Then you have the the super uber athletic that walks around in her sports bra and little tennis skirt. Either way...they've come to Wal-Mart saying "look at me!"

"The Mom" This one can come attached with kids or even without...but you always know a fellow Mom. First of all...they tend to be a little more respectful of everyone's shopping experience. They look a little more tired, sometimes mismatched and always with an ever present "on a mission, get it done and get out" look....because Mom's have a million other things to do BESIDES fart around Wal-Mart! ;)


If you the reader has fallen into one of those categories...I mean no offense...I just had a funny day in Wal-Mart and the whole way thought...this could be 1 funny blog ;)

Comments

Michael Doggett said…
i didn't know you do sketch comedy. very funny honey.
HA! That was so funny!! :)

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